ROBBED BLIND
By Sujatha Srinivas
Translated by Nidadavolu Malathi
ÀÀÀ
[Among Indians, caring and
sharing is a family value, a significant characteristic of the extended
family. However, if the family members
go overboard, and expect too much from their relatives in the States, they are
undermining the very same family values, on which their expectations are
based.]
ÀÀÀ
Saujanya felt a
strange feeling at heart, as the plane started landing in the airport, in
“I have a strange feeling in my stomach,” she said, with great excitement.
“Didn’t I tell you to stuff cotton balls in your ears, and chew gum. Here.” Sekhar pulled a packet of gum from his pocket, and handed it to her.
Saujanya smiled. “
“Oh. Well, that is what we are here for; we came all the way, right, Mukul?” he said, gently tapping on the little boy’s cheeks.
Saujanya and Sekhar
are returning home from the States, after three years, for the first time, and
with their six-month old son, born in
They completed the formalities in the airport, and walked to the gate. There was a huge crowd at the gate to welcome them—mother, father, mother-in-law, father-in-law, husband’s sisters, her sister, sister’s husband, brother, and their children.. The entire scene was so colorful, she was nearly thrown off balance. Her heart started beating faster at the thought that they all are her people, and they all came to receive her. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“Hi” she screamed, and ran into their arms. “Careful, watch your step,” Sekhar was yelling from behind.
After the big hugs, tears, the usual inquiries, kisses for Mukul, and his tearful protests, they threw in the suitcases in the trunk of the Tata Sumo van, that was waiting for them.
Saujanya told her parents that she would call them after she
went home, and would visit them after a couple of days. Mukul was not very
happy with the strange environment, the colored people, and the dust. He
started crying. Sekhar took him in his lap and tried to calm him down.
Saujanya and Sekhar went to Sekhar’s home first. They carried on the usual conversation for about an hour, freshened up, and had a small snack. Saujanya and the child fell asleep. Sekhar went out with his friends.
By the time
Saujanya woke up, the room filled with a sweet aroma from the kitchen. She
looked at the clock. It was
“Isn’t that strange? They came with just three suitcases. The child’s stuff takes one suitcase. I don’t think we can expect much.” That was the voice of Vimala, Sekhar’s younger sister.
“Don’t be silly. Even if they bring the child’s stuff, it wouldn’t take the whole suitcase. Probably they have 4 or 5 items for the child. Let’s see. They will unpack in the evening. You are really naïve. Hold your horses. We have to wait and see. We will think of something, after confirming that they did not bring anything for us…” That was Nirmala, the elder sister talking.
Saujanya was annoyed with herself for standing there and listening. “I slept like a log,” she walked in, making them aware of her presence, indirectly.
Both the sisters showed class, and welcomed her with a big smile.
“Oh, you are up. We sat here under the tree. It’s cool here, you know. Mother is busy with her puja. We can eat as soon as she finishes her puja. We don’t have to wait for Sekhar.” Sekhar walked in, before she completed her sentence.
He threw himself on the tapecot under the tree, saying, “It is so long since I sat down on a cot, under the almond tree.”
They heard the bells from the puja room, and got up for dinner. After the dinner, they gathered in the living room.
“Saujanya, where are the keys to the black suitcase. Are they in your handbag?” Sekhar asked, walking in to the other room.
“All the keys are in my handbag. Wait. Let me get them for you,” she said, went in, and brought the keys.
“What is that? My brother has no authority to open your handbag?” Vimala laughed.
“That’s not the problem. I kept passports and other important receipts in the same bag. If your brother messes up, reorganizing the stuff will become a big headache for me,” Saujanya explained gently.
Sekhar was opening the suitcase. Nirmala lowered her voice as she said to Vimala, “Vimmi, go, close the door and bolt it. Today is Sunday, you know. Our neighbor Indira shows up with all her children.”
Sekhar pulled out an expensive pair of sunglasses and handed it to his father, “Here, this is for you. Thought it could come in handy in summer.”
Surendra, Nirmala’s husband, being the son-in-law, was hoping to be the first to receive his gift; he thought he had a right to be the first recipient. He felt insulted, got up, and walked away, trying to be casual about it.
Nirmala noticed it, and said, “Come on, Sekhar, don’t you think you should give the first gift to the son-in-law of the family. You can’t think straight, I suppose.” She did not seem to notice that the mother’s face fell, at the suggestion.
Sekhar was a little beside himself, but did not show it. “Don’t you worry. I brought a big one for bava garu (brother-in-law),” he said, pulling out a latest model Sony cordless phone from the suitcase, and calling from behind, “Bavagaru, come here. Here is your gift”.
Bavagaru pretended to be busy with something, slowly traced his way back into the room, and took the flashy phone, happily. He opened the box, scrutinized for a while, and commented, “Ha! Probably I need to get an adapter for this. Nowadays, you do get the 220 volts appliances in the States, too. Usually everybody brings only those things,” he said, almost sounding “why did you bring this?”
“We don’t have those shops in all towns, not in our town, anyway. I am sure, some good technician can easily make an adapter here,” Saujanya said.
“It’s okay. My husband doesn’t have time, but, I am sure, Sekhar can have one made before he leaves,” Nirmala said.
Surendra works in the Secretariat. Almost everybody knows that he does not get to the office until it is almost lunch time! Sekhar was surprised to hear that bavagaru is hard-pressed for time.
[Note: This is
a comment on the work ethics in
He pulled another phone, the same kind, and gave it to Vimala.
“You might as well get adapters for both the phones at the same time,” Vimala said.
Then followed a variety of items from the suitcase, like the aladin’s magic lantern—the latest fashion outfits, boxes of chocolate, and toys for children; other items like clock-radios, phones, watches, electronic razors, CDs, perfumes, tabletops, crystal, and umpteen other things, bought at Block-fried sales for cousins and other relatives. You name it, they got it.
“I brought electronic organizers for my friends,” Sekhar said, showing the digital day planners. Surendra saw that, and said gravely, “My manager has been asking me to get one for him. I told him that I would get it. I forgot to mention it when you called us on the phone.”
Sekhar couldn’t see his logic. Why would the manager ask Surendra for an organizer, and, why Surendra would promise that he would get it for him.
“I am sorry. You should have told me earlier,” Sekhar said, to make it clear to Surendra that he did not have the supply in excess, for that kind of distribution.
“It’s okay. I’d pay for it,” Surendra said, as if he was getting ready to wrestle the one from his hand.
“Pay for it? That is $70.00 each. That is close to 3000 rupees. Okay, pay me. I am short for rupees, anyway,” he rejoined with a smile.
“Three
thousand rupees? We can get it for about 6 to 7 hundred rupees in
“Then, there is no problem. You can buy one here, and give it to him. Tell him that you got it from the States,” Vimala said sarcastically.
“My manager is not that stupid. He can easily see the difference between a piece from here, and the one from abroad. Never mind. I’ll find someone else to get it from abroad,” he said. He got busy checking out the gifts his wife got.
Next few minutes, it was a scene very skillfully played, and in accordance with the local practice. “I was joking. Here, take it. I swear, I want you to have it,” Sekhar kept begging like he meant it. Nirmala kept repeating that her husband should accept it, since $70.00 is nothing for the people in the States, and that they (Sekhar and Saujanya) would be upset if Surendra didn’t accept it, and so on. Surendra played his role, acted like he has a problem accepting the gift, in that manner, and, at the end, took it as if he were doing a favor to them.
All in the name of propriety!!
Saujanya took out the last piece, a red box, which doubled the curiosity of everybody.
“I brought the corals for all the women,” Saujanya gave two strands of corals to Nirmala, and two strands to Vimala.
“Who are they for?” Vimala pointed to the rest of the strands, and asked.
“For my mother, sisters, and sisters-in-law,” she replied.
“They are darker in color. Let me see,” Nirmala said, and reached out for the other packets to compare. “I don’t want these. I will take them. I like them better,” she said, looking at Saujanya suspiciously..
“Me too,” Vimala reiterated her sister’s statement.
Saujanya was aghast. She looked hard, and yet couldn’t see any difference. How could they find the minutest difference!…
“As you please. Take whatever you want,” she said, smiling.
“Is that all? Or, do you have more?” Nirmala asked, as she handed her share of strands to her husband.
“That’s all I have. Why?”
“What do you mean why? What about others like my sister-in-law Geetha, and her co-sister-in-law, Vimala’s mother-in-law, her sister, etc. You didn’t remember them when you were buying the corals?”
Saujanya was dumbfounded. She did not realize that she was supposed to bring gifts for the families of her husband’s sister’s in-laws as well. That’s really a tall order. It didn’t make sense to her.
“I am sorry. No, I didn’t think of them,” she said, vaguely, sounding guilty.
“You called me in November. At the time, I did mention to you that you should bring gifts for everybody. I know Sekhar is not the forgetting type.”
Saujanya took a minute to reply. “I bought jades for my brother’s daughters. You take them, and give them to your people. I will buy something here in town, for my nieces. I am sure they wouldn’t mind,” Saujanya suggested.
Nirmala did not say, “Don’t do that. After all, they are also children.” Instead, she turned to Vimala and said, “Hey, I got a plan. We already have corals. So, let’s keep the jades for ourselves, and give the corals to them.” They took the jades, two packets each, and checked the perfumes and picked the ones they liked best.
Saujanya gave all the children the chains with pendants per their birth stones.
In a final note, Vimala said, “This is nothing, I suppose. For about 5 or 6 dollars, you can get so much. That is the value of a dollar.”
Saujanya and Sekhar felt like their spirits drained up.
ÀÀÀ
After a few days’ stay in the mother-in-law’s home, Saujanya was getting ready to leave for mother’s home, along with her husband and the child. Vimala was sitting next to Saujanya while packing, and kept a close eye, in a futile attempt to find out what gifts Saujanya has for her people.
At mother’s place, Saujanya’s older brother, older sister, and younger sister came to visit, as soon as they heard that Saujanya came into town.
“How are you feeling? Did the stitches heal well?” mother asked.
Saujanya felt a huge wave of sorrow erupt, as the mother asked the question. This is the first time, after setting foot in the country, anybody asked her about her health.
She nodded quietly, in assent, as if she has no strength to say the words.
Then, once again, the distribution of gifts started as usual—electronic razor for brother-in-law, sunglasses for father, wristwatches for brothers, corals for all the women, and a few other items…
“Is that all? Don’t you have anymore corals,” the sister-in-law asked. Saujanya felt a jab in her side. Her run with the women in her husband’s place came to her mind, in a flash.
She shook her head, apprehensive, indicating a negative reply.
“My mother and her sister were going to buy corals in Charminar; I told them that Saujanya is coming soon, she will bring for us. It’s okay. I will give them mine.”
Saujanya felt crushed.
“Sorry. I miscalculated.
Sekhar’s sisters in-law also said the same thing; they
were also expecting me to bring for their in-laws. I ran short. In fact, I had
to give away the strands I bought for brother
She quickly realized that she made a mistake in mentioning it. The younger sister-in-law said, “Ha! So, you came here, only after finishing the distribution there. That’s okay. After all, I am not a beauty queen; how could I expect expensive jewelry.”
“Pch. Don’t say that. I still have mine. I thought I’d give them to you. That was actually my plan,” Saujanya said. She removed her gold-plated bracelet and the jades bracelet, and gave them. In the few days she spent in her mother’s home, the sisters and sisters-in-law kept commenting about the things they were hoping Saujanya might get for them. Words like camera and gold kept popping up repeatedly.
On the day of their departure, mother got a gold bracelet and a chain for Mukul, despite the protests from Saujanya and Sekhar.
ÀÀÀ
After spending a couple of days, Sekhar and Saujanya returned to Sekhar’s parents’ home.
“The chain is gorgeous, what a shine. Is that 24 carat gold?” Nirmala asked. Both the sisters live right behind Sekhar’s parents’ home. So, they spend most of the time here, at their mother’s place. Nirmala comes straight from her office.
“I don’t know. It seems father got it made sometime back. They gave us as we were leaving. I didn’t get a chance to ask.”
Nirmala kept quiet.
Then followed another story, on the day they were ready to leave for Tirupati.
Sekhar was getting ready to go to the railway station to book tickets on the Narayadri train.
Saujanya said, “First, try for seats in the AC compartment. It does not matter for us, but Mukul will not be able to take all that dirt and heat.”
“Yes. People like
us do not matter. The child was born in
Saujanya was confused. Until now, she was thinking that only the parents-in-law were accompanying them. What is wrong with this picture?
Before she could say anything, Sekhar spoke, “Who all are coming? How many tickets?”
“What kind of question that? Didn’t mother tell you? We were planning to go on a pilgrimage in September. We postponed our trip, after hearing that you were coming in January.”
That explained the long beard and the moustache of Surendra. He was obviously waiting to go to Tirupati and fulfill his vow.
[Note: Among Hindus, offering to have the hair shaved
at the temple premise is a kind of vow made to the Lord.]
Sekhar luckily could get the tickets in the first class AC for all of them. In Tirupati, Nirmala went on a shopping spree, and made Sekhar pay for it. They spent the night in AC rooms in a high class hotel. Surendra played his role well as the son-in-law of the family. He ordered everything appropriate for his status, expensive lunches and dinners, and proved that he was good at his job!
Sekhar would suggest to his mother to pick something for her, and she would reply, “Why spend money now?”
“What are you talking about, mother? Do you think, this expenditure matters to them at all? This is nothing for them. You know, they are not earning rupees, like us. They are earning dollars, you know, dollars. Money grows on trees for them,” Nirmala would jump in right away.
Saujanya and Mukul came down with diarrhea, as soon as they returned home. For a couple of days, they stayed home.
The following day, after dinner, Vimala showed up. “Hey, brother, my birthday is coming, on the sixteenth. Do you remember at all? You must buy me a saree,” she said with a little pout. Sekhar is very fond of this younger sister.
“Okay. Let me know when, and well go shopping,” he said, affectionately.
Vimala was excited. “Now, let’s go,” she said.
“Poor thing, your sister-in-law (Saujanya) is still weak. Let’s wait until Sunday,” Sekhar suggested.
“Good grief. Why worry about her? The saree is for me, right? Mother will look after her and the child. Come, let’s go. We two can go,” she said. In the next minute, they both walked away in big strides. It was late evening, by the time they returned, carrying big packages.
It seems, on their way to the stores, they stopped at Nirmala’s office, and took her with them. Sekhar bought expensive silk sarees for both the sisters, and mother in Chandana, a high class store in town. Then they went to the ShoppersStop, a strip mall, and bought garments for children. They also bought a cotton saree for Saujanya.
“Where is Sekhar?” Saujanya asked, seeing that he was the only one missing in the group.
“He went to have the film developed. You know, the film we shot in Tirupati,” Nirmala said, while opening the packets. The show went for an hour. Sekhar returned with the pictures. Then, the picture show went on for another hour.
Nirmala could hardly contain her excitement, “Wow! Awesome! The pictures are so beautiful. Look at the clarity. Where did you get them developed?”
Sekhar felt great. “That is because of the camera. It doesn’t matter where I got them developed. It’s Canon, you know,” he said, matching her excitement.
“Leave it to me on your way back. You can buy another for yourself in the States. You have no problem for dollars. Here, no matter how much we spend, we can’t get one with this quality. In fact, your brother-in-law was planning to buy a camera for a while now.”
“Then, why don’t you a new one yourself?” Vimala suggested.
“You shut up,” she said to Vimala, and turned to Sekhar, “What would you say? Yes?”
Sekhar smiled but did not reply. Saujanya was getting dejected by the minute. She looked at her husband.
“What is the matter, Sekhar? Why aren’t you saying anything? Why are you looking at your wife? You can’t make a decision without her approval, or what? If that is the case, it is okay. You don’t have to give me anything, my baby brother!”
“Don’t talk like that. Of course, Saujanya wouldn’t mind. Here, take it. We can get another later,” he replied.
The camera changed hands.
They bought that camera three days before Mukul was born. They wanted to take pictures of him as soon as he was born, and wanted to keep the camera as a memento. They were hoping to show it to him, after he grew up, and tell him that they took his first picture with that camera, when the baby was 5 minutes old!
Saujanya wanted to get up and go away from that place. She held back, only because she did not want to hurt Sekhar’s feelings; she knew Sekhar would be hurt, if she walked away, immediately after he gave the camera to his sister.
That night they both went upstairs. He gave her the bad news on the terrace. The sarees and the garments cost him close to 25 thousand rupees.
“There is one more thing. Sister Nirmala and her husband are planning to have a room built upstairs. She asked for 60 thousand rupees. I told her I didn’t have that much and gave her a check for 40 thousand rupees.”
Saujanya was dumbstruck.
“Loan?” She asked, knowing fully well that that was not the case.
“No. She asked me because I am her younger brother.”
“You said you were going to find an apartment. Did you go with your friend, Sudhir?”
“I did. But the sum for down payment is quite high”
“How much?”
“What does it matter? We don’t have the money anyways.”
She was quiet for a few minutes, and then asked, “Are there any other expenses before our departure?”
Sekhar hesitated for a few seconds, and said, “My younger sister, Vimala is asking for a camcorder for her birthday. She said she liked ours very much. I told her to take this. She is insisting she wants a new one.”
They spent 25 thousand rupees and there is, yet, no sight of the end of the tunnel. Huge expenses are still staring in their face! Saujanya slowly turned around, and walked downstairs.
ÀÀÀ
Sekhar and Saujanya are not done yet.
The younger sister is expecting and wanted the stroller, that belonged to Mukul. She said that such strollers are not available in India. Vimala also took Mukul’s clothes, including winter wear, saying she wouldn’t mind using the boy’s clothers for her daughter. For the next few days, Saujanya put up with every kind of comment from all the brothers, sisters, their children, and cousins. Comments went somewhat like this: “You brought trashy Parker pens from America; we can get those cheap watches right here; the corals are so cheap in the States, how come you got only one strand each? You are so stingy!…”
Saujanya’s sisters-in-law, back in her mother’s place, kept commenting that “Saujanya wouldn’t tell us what Sekhar got for his sisters; it is so hot in summer, why can’t he get us sunglasses?” And so on. They even started bad-mouthing at birthday parties and social gatherings.
Saujanya was wearing the golden yellow Benaras silk saree she bought in Houston. That was her favorite saree. Nirmala looked at the saree and poured her heart out, “Oh, I was looking for this particular color for years! I couldn’t find it at all.”
Saujanya said, “I wore it only once. If you don’t mind, it is yours. Please take it.”
“Oh, no. I can’t take yours,” Nirmala said, and took it, and put it aside.
ÀÀÀ
It was about a week before their departure date. Both the mothers, Saujanya’s and Sekhar’s, packed pickles for them to take to the States.
“You said you wanted to buy some books and punjabi dresses,” Sekhar asked Saujanya.
“No. I don’t need anything,” Saujanya murmured, faintly.
The next day, it was Sunday. Sekhar was packing the last suitcase. Saujanya sat next to him, breastfeeding the baby.
Sekhar’s sisters and mother walked in and sat on the cot. He felt a thump in his heart.
“So, Sekhar you never said anything about it. How much gold did you bring? Did you put it in the locker?” his mother asked him.
“Gold? What gold? We didn’t bring any gold. If we had brought it, why would we put it in the locker?” Sekhar replied, sounding casual, and busy packing.
“Really? You didn’t bring any gold at all?” Nirmala and Vimala said, at the same time, as if they were singing a duet. Sekhar was really shocked this time.
“Really. Of course, we didn’t. If we had brought, wouldn’t we show it to you? I didn’t have the money for gold,” he turned toward them and looked straight into their faces.
Tears jerked in Nirmala’s eyes instantly.
“Okay, brother. You know what would people say. They would say, ‘your brother is coming home from the States, after 3 years; what did he bring for you’. And then, I have to show them only this stupid stuff like beads and perfumes. Everybody says gold is cheap in America, and bring coins or bracelets. They don’t show up, with empty hands, like you did. You are really something, you know that!” she said, as her tone from crying to antagonism.
“I told my in-laws that the uncle (Sekhar) will bring gold for my daughter. How do you expect me to show my face to them?” Vimala said, making a futile attempt to break into tears.
“Gold is not any cheaper there. In fact, it is just about as costly there also,” he tried to explain.
“Oh, is that the reason, you got the chain and bracelets made only for your son. The pieces are shining so bright, even the dumbest would know it is made of 24 carat gold,” Vimala said irately.
“What do you mean I got it made for him. Saujanya’s father got it made. I’ve got nothing to do with it,” Sekhar replied. He was trying to be patient.
“I know. You gave the gold, and they got it made,” Vimala spit the words like fire, and walked away in big strides.
Tears welled up in Saujanya’s eyes. Not so much for the accusation, as for the fact, that the mother-in-law didn’t show her faith in her son.
“We were hoping that you still care about your sisters and bring gold; we were hoping to have some jewelry made for the girls. We never thought that you could be so inconsiderate,” Nirmala dabbed her eyes.
“Sister dear, there is nothing I could have liked better. But you know the circumstances. Saujanya had a c-section. Our financial situation was a bit tight. That is the only reason we didn’t get the gold for you all.”
“What do you mean tight? The child, the surgery and all that garbage came in, now, in the last six months or so. What were you doing for the past three years? Why can’t you come, and say straight out, that you have forgotten your sisters. Know what? Forget it. Just forget it. I know this is not exactly your idea. I know who is behind all this,” Nirmala fired away her thoughts, and left the room.
Saujanya was baffled, sat there speechless. Sekhar was taken aback, and looked at his mother. She followed Nirmala, without a word.
ÀÀÀ
On the day of their departure…
Nirmala and Vimala came to the house. The stayed aloof, and saw them off at the gate. Sekhar was hoping that they would go to the airport, and was disappointed that they would bid farewell at the gate.
On Saujanya’s side, only her parents and the elder brother came to say goodbye. The second brother came in the morning and said goodbye. Sisters and sisters-in-law rang up. Sekhar and the family felt like some political leader who lost in the elections, as they proceeded to the airport.
ÀÀÀ
This has become a national malady!
Should the goal of every Indian who goes to the States, only earning dollars so he or she could buy gifts for all the relatives in India?
Why can’t they accept whatever we give, out of the goodness of our hearts?
Is it right for them to blow off, simply because they are not getting what they want, and what they expect from us?
Do they know, do they understand that half of our income goes for taxes, and then we have other expenses like the rent?
Where is room for any savings? Especially, in one-income families, like ours?
Talk about expenses, talk about the international calls! If we cut down those phone calls, we can buy any number of gold coins.
But then, that is the one facility that helps us to listen to the voices of those people, closest to our hearts. Can we give up that one comfort for gold?
In fact, Saujanya and Sekhar have already let go several other pleasures, so they could save to make this trip. Things they let go—the visit to Niagara falls on their wedding anniversary, buying DVD player, 35” TV, new sofa set—they postponed all that and more.
They kept buying things, one after another, they got carried away, to speak the truth. They even dropped the idea of buying a condo.
Sekhar’s older sister, Nirmala works in the Commercial Office, and earns well over 1200 rupees, yet is looking to her younger brother to pay for remodeling her house!
Each one of them have more than 40 ounces of pure gold, and still want the brother to get gold for their children!
You know why? Because the younger brother is earning dollars!
The ancient phrase about gold came to her mind. “The touchstone proves the purity of gold, and the gold spells out the character of a person.”
How true! Once again, the words of all the relatives started ringing in her head:
“They earn in dollars!”
“The dollars grow on trees for you! You don’t have to worry about rupees.”
“Of course, dollars!”
Dollars, dollars,… That is the mantra in the mouth of each and everybody!
Now, I understand the power of a dollar, she thought.
Until now, she was thinking of only its purchasing power! Now only she’s realized the extent of its monstrosity. She kept pondering…
Oh, Goddess Dollar! I underestimated your power!
You can drive a wedge between one person and another!
You can raise walls between two family members; tear them apart!
Oh, dear Dollar, hats off to you. You are the currency goddess of the greatest
nation on earth! A million bows to you!
Sekhar turned to Saujanya, as a tear dropped on his forehand. Saujanya did not want him to know that she was crying. She turned away and was looking out the window.
Sekhar tried to say something, but was lost for words. Whatever he wanted to say would sound empty and unnatural. He simply took her hand into his and held it.
ÀÀÀ
[The Telugu version, “Niluvu Dopidi”, was originally published in WebPrapancam,
dated 7/7/2001]
