MAN’S HEAVEN
By Dr. Bhargavi Rao
Translated by Sujatha Gopal
—
Translator’s Note: This story is from an anthology of stories by Dr.Bhargavi Rao titled Naa Peru
published in1997.It focuses mainly on how women are conditioned to accept the fact that their
happiness is intricately associated with their husband’s happiness. She is forced to accept the
marriage unquestioningly. Chastity, loyalty is thrust upon her in the name of domestic harmony.
There are no solutions provided in the story, but it asserts the fact that a woman should be allowed
to discover for herself what happiness is.
———
Though Tayaru’s mother was Kamalamma, she was taken care of by her foster mother
Yashodamma.Yashodamma was in reality Tayaru’s grandmother. Kamalamma did not conceive
for a long time after her marriage, and when conceived she miscarried. Tayaru was born after
prayers to innumerable deities. Baba’s blessing that a son would be born and should be named
after Venkateswara Swami came true partially. A little disappointed they named the child after the
consort of Venkateshwara- Alivelu Manga Tayaru. Weak and delicate Tayaru was immediately
taken under the watchful care of Yashodamma. Without any divine intervention, Kamalamma had
four other children in quick succession.
Yashodamma had no other preoccupation except looking after Tayaru. She was widowed at a
very young age. Her only daughter, Kamalamma was happily married. Tayaru’s birth gave her a
new lease of life. She looked after Tayaru very affectionately- she would bathe her with herbal
bath- powder, feed her nutritious food and rejoice at her baby-talk. Tayaru grew physically strong,
but was very naïve and innocent. She was undoubtedly very intelligent, she could memorize every
lesson taught in the school and excelled academically. She competed with the other children and
would create beautiful rangoli and also surpassed them in stringing flowers, knitting laces and
embroidery.Yashodamma did not allow Tayaru to become worldly-wise. She confined Tayaru to
a world that she thought was right. She did not allow her to think beyond her village and her
people. Tayaru too enjoyed this ignorant bliss, happily playing and frolicking around. Little did she
realize that if one did not widen one’s horizons of knowledge along with the changing times,
innocence would become synonymous with ignorance.
One day Yashodamma oiled, removed tangles and combed nine-year old Tayaru’s hair and
braided it into a plait with ornamental bells at the end. She decorated it with flowers like mogili
petals, kanakaambara and malle. To make this arduous task, which took more than an hour,
tolerable for Tayaru, Yashodamma would fill it with mythological stories and parables from
folklore. Tayaru knew most of the stories by heart.
“Ammamma[1], why don’t you have any hair? “questioned Tayaru innocently.
“Even I had beautiful long dark tresses like you, my dear, but when your grand father passed away
they shaved my head.”
“Why should they shave off your hair if thatha[2] is no more?”
“If this ritual is not followed, it seems, he will not be redeemed of his sins and I will not have a place
in heaven.”
“What is heaven?”
“That is a different world – world of gods! There is endless happiness! No tears or hardships.
Devendra is the lord of that world. The gods having partaken the divine nectar know no hunger or
thirst. The divine damsels entertain them in the midst of milky ocean. Is the plait too tight? Don’t
turn back.”
“Ammamma if my husband dies will they shave my head too?”
“Tchi, what kind of talk is that? Do not utter such inauspicious words. Gods above may say
‘thadhaasthu’ (Be it so)”
“But I want to see heaven.”
“Times have changed .Now, no one shaves the head. If you remain a pativrata you can see
heaven”
“Who is a pativrata? ...My neck aches”
“It is almost over. One minute more ... Remember the other day I told you the story of Sumathi”
“About the one who carried her leper-husband on her head to a prostitute?.... Ammamma, if my
husband does not have leprosy, will I not be a pativrata like Sumathi?”
“Stop that blabbering. Come on, get up. Change your clothes. Let’s go the temple. Look at your
age and the kind of questions you ask! Just listen to the stories. When you grow up you will
understand all this,” said Yashodamma rearranging Tayaru’s locks on her forehead.
“My karma of my previous birth must be haunting me. That is why I have to lead the life of a
widow. My misfortune should not cast a shadow on you. You should enjoy marital bliss and die a
sumangali[3],” blessed Yashodamma with tearful eyes.
Tayaru did not understand a word, but she intensely desired to see heaven. The very thought of a
milky ocean overwhelmed her for she knew of milk that was adulterated with water. That night she
dreamt of foaming Milky Ocean.
Tayaru very soon reached puberty. She did not know why her skirt was stained with blood, when
she had not fallen or injured herself. She was draped in a saree and fed chalimidi.[4] She was just
beginning to realize that this was a monthly ritual. Soon she was made a bride with her hands and
feet decorated with henna. Her parents, Kameswar Rao and Kamalamma washed Ramanadham‘s
feet and performed her wedding per tradition. With tears in their eyes they bid farewell after Tayaru
was tutored her about pativrata Dharma:
Husband is equivalent to god.
His happiness is your happiness.
Have food only after he has had his food.
Do not even eye any other man.
Pray for his well-being daily.
Observe all *vratas and *nomolu for your marital status.
Listen to him and be obedient
Be like a mother when you serve him food, a courtesan in bed etc. etc.
“What would I get if I observed all this?”
“You will experience heavenly bliss after you die.”
[*rituals to maintain her marital bliss]
That meant milky-ocean, divine nectar, ecstasy, divine damsels dancing … These rituals seemed
insignificant in front of the promised heaven. She decided to remain chaste in word, deed and
thought.
Ramanadham used her innocence to maximum extent. He enjoyed her services- right from brushing
the teeth to the pleasures in bed. Praying for his well-being and serving him, she soon became a
mother to his children. She spent her days fasting on *Kartika Mondays, *Shravana Fridays and
Holy baths in the month of *Magha..
[*Names of months according to lunar calendar]
She was very happy when her husband would say, “Tayaru, you are fasting, aren’t you? Do not
cook for me. I shall eat out.” She assumed her husband loved her a lot when he would say, “You
are very tired. Do not wait for me. Go to sleep.” She loved him more for his concern, unmindful of
the fact that along with paan, he also satiated his carnal desires elsewhere. She recited the mantra:
“Ahalya, Draupadi, Tara, Seeta, Mandodari thada
Pancha kanya nityam sarva pataka nasanam.”
[Reciting the names of the five chaste women from Hindu mythology supposed to absolve all sins,
and help her remain chaste]
Although she lived a chaste life, her body responded to certain temptations too.
One day, while Tayaru was circumambulating around the sacred ‘tulasi plant’[5] draped in a wet
sari, the boy in the neighborhood, who had been watching and admiring secretly her for a long time,
embraced her passionately. Tayaru responded to it momentarily. She quickly collected herself,
screamed at the boy, and bathed again. How could she go to heaven if she succumbed to the touch
of another man? At times the thoughts of that momentary happiness haunted her, and she diverted
her attention to something else. A few incidents teased her in her dreams and left her a little
dazzled—like when the hand of their domestic servant touched hers accidently, when the
intoxicating eyes of Kama Raju disturber her composure, or some unknown strangers entered her
thoughts and muddled her mind. Finally the gods were very happy with Tayaru and blessed her
with a ‘heavenly death’. With an incurable disease, without giving a chance to her husband to spend
money to cure her ailment, she died a `lucky death’. Everyone praised her good fortune and
performed the final rites with kumkuma and pasupu[turmeric]* per
tradition.
[*The red powder used for dot on the forehead and turmeric are two of the symbolic items for a
married woman]
Finally, Tayaru reached the much coveted heaven. The gates of Heaven were wide open for her.
The splendor of heaven mesmerized her—Lord Vishnu reclining on the thousand hooded serpent,
Shiva and Parvati dancing in ecstasy, Brahma immersed in the veena recital of Saraswathi, the
divine damsels entertaining with their dance, and the male souls reveling in the intoxicated effect of
the divine nectar. The female souls were also there, looking lost in the ecstasy of bhakti, and not
knowing what else they could do. Tayaru watched this enchanting world in awe for one day. She
too was happy for a few days, but then slowly she started realizing that something was amiss. This
heaven was very much like that of men on the earth. There was nothing special that gave pleasure
to women. Why?Is there a different heaven for women? If such a heaven exists, where is
that? Is it possible in that heaven to have babies without any pain or cook without much
difficulty? How long should she stay in this heaven of men?
Tayaru’s most favorite deity was Lord Rama. She wanted to ask him but she could not find him
anywhere. In the past she had prayed that Ramanadham should be her husband in all her lives. But
now she was wondering if her prayers were for this heaven, then it had no meaning. Tayaru did not
want to be born a pativrata resisting all temptations only to come back to this heaven again.
She regretted having curbed her desires in the name of chastity. She wished to live like a normal
human being. Perhaps Lord Rama heard her prayers- she was born again, a normal woman with
normal desires and led a happy life.
That is it!
———
[1] Mother’s mother. In Telugu language, father’s mother has a different term.
[3] Blissful marital status. For a woman to die before her husband was considered a blessing.
[4] Ground sesame and sugar paste—a customary practice.
[5] Tulasi is holy basil. Walking around the tulasi plant is a religious practice in South India.