MALE PROGENY
By Sujatha Srinivas
Translated by Nidadavolu Malathi
(Modern day women are fighting for equal status with men and freedom of choice. But when a feminist makes a choice that
goes against the grain of such ideals, her character and integrity are called into question)
It is about six in the evening. I just returned from my walk.
“Naveena called. She is going to be a mom,” Vasu said.
“Hi.” I asked as I picked up the phone, “When did she call?”
“About half an hour back.”
Naveena was home. She accepted my compliments feeling a little shy. She would be entering the
third month on the sixth.
“So, it is a pleasant surprise,” I said.
“It is pleasant but not a surprise. We planned for it. As for Kausik, he is ecstatic, literally. He is
talking to his friends in the other room. Should I call him?”
“No, Not now. I will call again. You take rest. If you need anything let me know.”
“I sure will.”
Something hit me. I congratulated her much the same way I would anyone else. I am not sure why
but I was down. May be I was thinking of the rest that would follow: vomiting, tiredness, the
workload, and all that; and after the child was born, leaving a one-month old baby in somebody
else’s house and going back to work. What a botheration! As I was about to heave a sigh I heard
the sounds of my daughter waking up. I had better attend to her right away, or else, the earth will
shatter. I think the kids carry a streak of the demons in them, I told myself as I walked into her
room.
ÀÀÀ
Two weeks passed by. I got a call from Kausik at 7:00 in the evening.
“Lakshmi, can you please stop by.”
“What? What happened?” I was worried.
“Nothing to worry about. Just, please, do come right away.”
We two rushed to their house, I mean three, counting my daughter.
It is a seven-mile drive.
Naveena is lying down in the sofa, totally debilitated from vomiting. I felt sad as I looked at her
worn out face. It seems she is refusing to take medication. I sat down next to her and kept
mentioning all the home remedies I could think of.
I asked if they had lemons and then made lemon pickles, a week’s supply. I also made a few other
chutneys that would not go bad for a couple of weeks and put them in the refrigerator. I talked her
into agreeing to be patient somehow for a couple of weeks. I told her that everything would be all
right.
“Explain to me that ‘somehow’, ” she scowled at me.
“I don’t know either. I am not even sure how I understood it. If I think about it I’ll throw up now.”
“Lakshmi, whatever I could have done without you? Cooking is no big deal. But having someone
to hold your hand when you need is such a blessing. Bless your heart,” she said hugging me, as I
was about to leave.
ÀÀÀ
Naveena is a girl after my heart. She is a pleasure to be with, the very definition of zest. Probably
poets had persons like her in mind when they described someone as ‘a boisterous stream’. During
her engineering college days, she was very active in student body activities in numerous positions
like secretary and vice-president, I was told. That gusto is obvious even now in her conversations
and actions. And she is very smart; I must give it to her. She started out as a consultatant but she
advanced to a permanent position while Kausik is still struggling as a consultant on probation.
I understood how exacting Naveena could be during one of our visits to their place.
We walked in and noticed that Kausik was grumpy about something.
Naveena was telling him something in a very firm tone. She saw us, said ‘come in’ and turned to
Kausik again, “So, that’s it Kausik! That’s how it is going to be. I work much the same way you
do. Actually my work on the computer is harder than yours. I am not going to take it if you sit in
front of the T.V., snacking on popcorn, and saying you’re waiting for me. I am cooking in the
mornings. You cook in the evenings. Don’t tell me that you can’t cook. I learned it the hard way
and you can do the same. Or else forget the home-cooked meals. Let’s go out to eat everyday.
But don’t ask me to wait on you, like in your mother’s days. I can’t do it. What are you thinking?
That I should go out and earn and also do the chores at home like a donkey. What kind of a justice
is that?”
Naveena and Kausik treat us like a family. Obviously our presence did not bother Naveena.
She continued to state her terms, “That does not mean you can get away cooking with dal only
everyday. You want me to make stuffed eggplant, buttermilk soup and sweet chappati and all that
good stuff. And you even pick on me that they did not turn out like your mother’s. Put your mind to
it, follow the recipes in the book and you will do just fine.”
Kausik looked at me with a smile hardly noticeable. “I am not joking, sweetheart! If you don’t start
cooking beginning next Monday, I am going to quit my job and will sit at home. Then I have no
problem making all your favorite dishes,” she said.
After that Kausik had no other choice except start learning the culinary art.
I was calling them everyday to find out how is Naveena doing.
One day I got a call from Kausik. It seems Naveena was feeling very weak and so asked him to
pick her up at work. He wants to know if he could bring her and leave her with me for the rest of
the afternoon. I said that’s fine.
They arrived in five minutes. Even as I opened the door, Naveena pushed me saying ‘move,
move,’ and ran into the bathroom.
“Oh, no,” Kausik was about to follow her. I stopped him.
“Don’t worry. I will take care of her. It is getting late for you. You go,” I assured him and sent him
off.
Naveena turned off the tap and threw herself in the couch. I sat next to her and stroked her hair
gently.
“How are you, dear?” I said. The word dear came out involuntarily. I never said that before.
Naveena suddenly threw herself in my lap and started crying.
I let her cry for a while and then said, “Come on, sit up. I will get some food for you.”
I mixed ginger chutney and rice and brought it for her.
She said she was feeling sick since morning but had to go to work because of an approaching
deadline. She threw up 4, 5 times while in the office. Amanda, Accounts Executive, saw her
throwing up in the washbasin.
“Why don’t you use the toilet bowl?” she said and turned around, annoyed, and went away. She
would not come in until somebody came in and cleaned the entire restroom.
“I am sick to my stomach, could hardly think and she is…” she left the sentence in the middle and
ran into the bathroom again.
“What? Didn’t they have any children? Didn’t they suffer from morning sickness?” She said just
about as annoyed as Amanda.
I was about to say something. “Well. This is my karma, I suppose. All the moms and dads should
be exterminated if you ask me. They keep pestering us for grandchildren,” she said.
“Naveena, stop it. If not today, you are going to have children some day, right? This is inevitable at
that time too.”
“That is my question. Why? Why do WE have to suffer? Why Nature conferred all this suffering
only on us?” She screamed angrily.
“Don’t talk like you are crazy. What do you mean ‘we’? Of course it is we. You agreed to marry
him knowing full well that you have to go through such things. There was a time when I wouldn’t
want to marry, you know. After seeing the ordeal- all this morning sickness, and the labor pains my
sisters suffered I thought I would never marry. Then what did I do? Here I am. And I even have a
cute little daughter. What is the point in complaining, in asking over and again why only we should
suffer? Even those feminists who plan to be single mothers also have to go through this process. Do
you think the pain transfers to fathers if they scream in the labor rooms ‘why should only the mother
suffer’, like in some movie? How can we reject the nature?” I commented in all earnestness.
“We used to discuss this when I was working in the Feminists Association at the university,”
Naveena said.
“That is why all these associations are such a mess. Let it be. Tell me what do you want to eat. I
will make it for you,” I said getting up.
“I want to eat tamarind rice,” she said with some hesitation.
“Alright. One tamarind rice coming up. That is much better. All you have to do is just ask”
ÀÀÀ
I pulled in the Bharat Bazar parking lot and was about to open the door. I noticed that a woman in
her full term was getting out of her car, parked next to mine. I waited until she got out and closed
the door. Then I got out. She smiled at me and walked towards the store.
I was looking at the videocassettes. Then I noticed another woman who seem to be in her second
trimester. The woman I saw in the parking lot and this woman near the videocassettes started
chatting.
Both of them were attending birthing classes. It seems “they were really having a good time in the
classes”.
“How far are you two apart, you and Kalpana?” the first woman asked.
“Just about a month.”
“I thought it is three months.”
“No, no. Nishita and I are three months apart. Anu conceived in August. Mine in November.”
They went on and on about kids. They wanted to finish all shopping for the baby toward the end of
the third trimester. The mother-in-law would arrive for help at the time of the delivery. In a by-line
they looked at my daughter and, squeezing her cheeks, said, “Hi, cutie, you are so sweet”.
I finished my shopping and walked out. But they two lingered in mind for a long time. For some
reason it looked like I was running into pregnant women wherever I went. I mean everywhere- in
Wal-Mart, Indian grocery stores, and movie theaters; literally I am stumbling on one or two
mothers-to-be everywhere.
I mentioned this to Vasanti.
“Here, the doctors, the hospitals, and the service—everything is so different. Nobody raises her
voice at you. Plus they try their best to help you have a normal delivery. They don’t perform
caesarean section unless it is absolutely necessary. Oh, boy, in India the c-section has become so
common! You go for delivery and you are in for a c-section. It is so nice here. I have seen a couple
of times,” she said.
Vasanti also has two children and both of them were born in India just like my daughter.
ÀÀÀ
“Lakshmi, I have a craving for Gobi manchuria.”
“Lakshmi, can I have pakora with cashew?”
“Lakshmi, do you mind making snake gourd chutney for me, please?”
“Lakshmi, I really would like to eat pav bhaji today.”
I did not mind making the dishes to satisfy Naveena’s cravings. I remember all the dishes my
mother used to make for me in spite of my vehement protests. Besides I like children. I am looking
forward to playing with her baby, no matter what, boy or girl. By the time Naveena got over her
morning sickness, she is half way through her fifth month. Kausik decided to have a party after she
felt better. First they thought they would have it in a restaurant and then changed the venue to
home. They ordered some catering service for food.
They decided to throw a separate party for American friends later. For the present the entire
crowd is Indian. On the party day, they had a doctor’s appointment. Kausik and Naveena went for
the appointment and I was at their place taking care of the details. Vasu and I were decorating the
room with balloons and paper flowers. Guests started arriving one by one. Some of them have little
kids. Fathers walked in pushing strollers and mothers with diaper bags. Some children started
crying, frightened by the clamor in the room.
Men got into discussion on politics in India and ignored the children.
Aruna rushed in, “Hush. You all people. Why are shouting at the top of your voices? The children
are scared. You all are acting like you are in India!” she reprimanded us.
Everybody apologized and turned down their voices. Most of the guests are women. They all
moved into the next room and began chatting.
Soon Naveena came into the room like a blast of wind. “Hi, guys!” She came to me straight, with a
great gusto and started shaking my shoulders, “I made it. I won. I made it. I got it, wow!”.
“What do you mean you won? Are you coming from the doctor’s office? Or are you going to
Wheel of Fortune game show?” Santi asked.
Naveena is bursting at the seams with joy. She leaned back in the couch, “It sure feels like it. I am
going to have a boy!” she said.
The room resounded with a big “wow” from everybody present there.
“Great. Congratulations, Naveena,” I said sincerely happily.
“So, You did achieve finally. Although you were saying from the beginning, it is better you got
confirmation from the doctor. No more tension. Don’t you get bigheaded from now on though?
You can still remember us although you are going to be the mom of a son,” Aruna teased her.
“That’s not true. Naveena is a class one feminist. If it were a girl, I am sure she would raise even
more hullabaloo. Isn’t that right, Naveena?” I said.
It took me a while to understand that I was foolish to say such a thing. Everybody in the room burst
into a big laugh.
“Lakshmi, You are a great comic! How come you don’t know that Naveena took lot of pains and
planned to have a boy? Tell us this first. Did you hear about the Chinese birth prediction calendar
or not?” I didn’t understand a single word Suseela said.
What does she mean when she said Naveena took a lot of pains? Is she referring to the morning
sickness? There is nothing unusual about it. I vaguely heard about the Chinese calendar but couldn’t
imagine the connection between the calendar and Naveena’s immense pleasure.
Bhanu spoke while I was still struggling for an answer. “You worked as a journalist in India. Here
you spend hours on the Internet, right? And you never heard of that calendar? It is a very old
subject. The calendar contains the details in regard to the gender of a child and can predict as to
which mother, depending on when she conceived, gives birth to what child, a boy or girl. It is 70%
accurate. There are umpteen web sites for info. Some of them charge a nominal fee and offer
predictions 99% accurate.” She explained to me.
While Bhanu was narrating I remembered a few details about the Calendar. True. I read it
somewhere. But then I wasn’t sure that anybody would take it seriously. So, what does this come
down to, I mean what did she do? Did she follow the Calendar so she could bear a S-O-N? It
started sinking in slowly. I was so nearly shocked. The expression in my face couldn’t be any
worse if I were told that there were four babies in her tummy. I was still trying to hide my surprise
and Komal spoke.
Komal is a Gujarati girl.
“It works. It really worked for me,” She said.
“Lakshmi! I can’t say all Indians but most of them in the US are following this method. Look
around. Did you notice how many of these babies are female? I am not sure if everybody who
follows the calendar will have a boy. But they all say as long as it is available what is wrong in
trying?” Niraja said. She also has a daughter.
Naveena suddenly got up displaying a plastic smile on her face and said, “I am hungry”. Obviously
she is getting a little uncomfortable with this discussion.
But the rest of them in the room wouldn’t let go. It seems they all are anxiously waiting for this
discussion for a long time. So they continued.
“Can I say something,” said Neelima. Ha! Is she going to stop if somebody says you can’t or don’t!
“There are lot of women under 30 nowadays who make up their minds even before they arrive
here. They decide to have the child in the US. They postpone pregnancy until they arrive here.
That way the US citizenship is guaranteed for the child. He could decide whether he wants to
become a citizen or not when he turns 18. Besides let’s forget all that talk about equality for a
second. We all know a boy has a better shot at careers and security in the society. Most of the
couples come here only with the children’s future in mind. So they'd say 'we might as well have the
baby boy too'. And then they say they would consider about the second child later. So Naveena
took all the trouble to make sure to conceive a boy and she accomplished it,” Neelima said.
Neelima majored in Engineering in Bits Pilani, India, and is a systems analyst here. Such words
from her mouth made me speechless.
After a while I plucked my courage (I still don’t believe that Naveena did that), and said, “Oh, shut
up, you all! I don’t believe these calendars and charts. I don’t believe that Naveena would be so
crazy as to follow a stupid calendar either.” I turned to see Naveena’s face. My words sounded
weak as I noticed the naughty smile on her face.
Naveena lay back, relaxed and laughed. It is the look of a weight lifted off her chest, a grave
danger steered clear of, a secret chest of wealth found. A great relief in her face! It is the kind of
relief you would see in the face of traveler in a coastal Andhra train when he hears that the huge
storm that was expected to sweep through coastal Andhra changed direction and moved to Orissa!
“Well, Lakshmi, it is true that I did follow the Chinese calendar and also paid the fee to get a better
prediction from a web site. Both of them are true,” she said simply.
Of course if somebody thinks they made a mistake there is a reason for hesitation but not when
they believe they did the right thing.
I was a total wreck. I couldn’t decide what kind of emotion I was expected to show in my face,
and so, I sat there looking perplexed. The thoughts of Naveena’s lectures were running through my
mind without any effort on my part—her emotion-filled speeches on women’s greatness, equality—
the lectures delivered with great fervor, confidence and pride.
Once Kausik showed her a cartoon of a crabby woman by Bapu and laughed. Immediately she
turned emotional and gave a big speech.
“Do you know Kausik? Only a woman has the fortitude to understand the thoughts and feelings of
all the creatures. It is not fair Bapu draws cartoons like that, simply because there are a few bad
women out there. I think I should write to him about it,” she said gravely.
I noted down those words in my diary that day.
On another occasion, Narendra, who lives one floor down, asked why he should do chores at
home. Naveena heard it, and swept into the room like an arrow leaving whatever she was doing.
“Oh, you and your conceit. She earns more than you do. I earn more than Kausik. In what way
you two are superior to us? I am confused. Are you saying that the wife’s duty is to cook? We
came this far and are working just like you two and still your ego will not allow you to accept that
we are equal to you? You see everyday so many women in high positions and still you look down
on women. And you also feel sorry for us because we have to go through conditions like pregnancy
and childbirth. Motherly instinct is a marvelous feeling that is appreciated only in experience. How
could a donkey would know about it?” she fired off like a rifle hardly aware what she's saying.
Okay. What can I say now? I swallowed the lump in my throat. Why should I be upset because
Naveena did something not to my liking? How does that concern me? But then, again why should
she do that? She who is involved in feminist associations…
So what? Shouldn’t she have a male child? Isn’t she entitled to her own desires?
Yes. She can have her wishes and desires. But I don’t think she is eligible to get involved in feminist
organizations if she intentionally and exclusively makes an effort to have a male child. She is
deceiving the numerous other members who listened to her lectures, trusted her and even adapted
her ideas. She has no right to promote as her own the ideas, which are not hers in order to earn
recognition in society. She is using feminism as a veil.
Yes. I have a right to hate her.
“That’s not it, Naveena. Look here.” I was about to say something and Naveena cut in.
“If I don’t give my mother-in-law a male grandchild, she would get on my case and show me hell
for the rest of my life. She can throw words like daggers. Trust me. My mother has a girl for the
first time. So also my sister. My in-laws will chew me up saying I took after my mother in that.
Kausik also insisted on having a male child. He would say that there is a grandeur in having the first
one a boy. And I think that is true too. It doesn’t matter the second time, a boy or a girl.”
For the first time I understood how vulgar Naveena could be. Not just me. Everybody in the room
saw that.
“So you are saying it doesn’t matter if a girl is not born. But it is a matter of grave consequence if it
were not a boy,” Niraja said.
I am lost for words. I am angry, upset, and feeling a sense of revulsion and am not sure with whom.
I felt like kicking Naveena.
I could hear Kausik’s voice from the living room. He was saying, “You are so lucky, darling. It is a
boy, said the doctor.” He couldn’t wait until he got home. He stopped the car on the way home,
called his parents using his calling card and told them that it was a grandson. His father was shaken
out of his sleep and shouted, “Yes. In our home even a dog would bear a boy the first time”.
Every woman in the room heard his words and was shocked. Naveena looked a little
uncomfortable.
“Meaning? Does that mean daughters-in-law in your home are equal to dogs? Or the dogs are
treated like daughters-in-law?” Nobody expected these words from Rajani.
Naveena kept her cool and replied with a smile, “Let’s not give him a hard time.He is bursting at
the seams.”
I cleared my throat.
“So, how did you follow the calendar, Naveena?”
Naveena took it as a question seeking information. “It is very simple. I’ll give you the web sites.”
and she filled in the details.
“Did you conceive that way—checking the dates, age and the months?”
“That’s right.”
I took a minute to think how to continue this conversation.
“What if you were not in a mood at the time? I mean to say...”
Naveena smiled with a naughty wink. “I understand. But then if you want a male child you can’t be
picky. Just close your eyes and pretend that you are happy,” she said calmly.
I was afraid I was going to puke at the thought. Who would close their eyes and pretend to be
happy for a few seconds? What does that come down to?
“Poor thing. What a nuisance!” Niraja was sarcastic.
Naveena was angry but managed not to show it. She is clever. “What can I do? All his uncles on
his father’s side have boys. Some of them don’t have any girls at all. If I give birth to a female,
wouldn’t that be humiliating? I was so afraid that I might take after my mother. When I was
boarding the plane in India, my mother-in-law told me to come back with a boy and she looked at
my mother with a naughty smile,” she said, laughing.
He mother was humiliated in public and Naveena was laughing. How could she?
“What about all your lectures on women and women’s power. It that all just a talk?” Rajani asked,
also laughing.
I quickly turned and looked at her. I was also looking for answers.
“Of course. We do see so many women who have accomplished so much. How can I talk lightly of
them? And if I do, would they keep quiet?” she said.
“Alright. Just explain to me why you did not want a girl and were very particular about having a
boy? I am just curious,” Rajani asked again as if challenging her.
“I didn’t say that a girl is doesn’t matter. You are something, you know. I said I would like to have
a boy the first time. I am not going to say no if I get a girl the second time,” she said as if she were
willing to make allowances.
When I was little I used to watch the actors during Dasara festival with great enthusiasm. The
“arthanareeswara” was particularly very interesting to me. A man would dress up on one side as
Shiva and the second side as Parvati. He would use a veil to cover Sivas’s part when delivering
Parvati’s dialogue and vice versa. He would shift from one to the other so quickly it was amazing.
Now Naveena is exactly acting like that. I saw that and so also everyone else in the room.
After a while I felt exhausted. The debate felt meaningless.
“Poor thing, Naveena has been saying she is hungry. Let’ eat.” We all got up.
ÀÀÀ
It was never the same again for me and Naveena. I could never shake the feeling that Naveena in
some way cheated me.
Vasu said it is not fair that I should put her on a pedestal first and then get upset about it.
“Haven’t we read in puranas that the kings desiring a male child used to perform ‘putra kameshti’
[1]? Did they do ‘putrika kameshti’? Consider this a modern version of the older tradition,” he
said. I still couldn’t accept it.
“All right. Forget it. Why should we lose our minds about their business,” he added at the end.
But I couldn’t convince myself that there was nothing wrong.
Naveena’s mother-in-law came to help her in her delivery. A couple of weeks prior to her delivery
date, I left for Denver to visit a friend. Naveena understood my silence. Why not? She is not stupid!
ÀÀÀ
Later I came to know from our circle of friends that both Naveena and Kausik went about telling
everybody that I stopped talking to them after I learned that they were going to have a son.
“Poor thing. She has only a girl! We can understand her problem,” Naveena pitied me, I heard.
While I was in grade school, the sex determination tests were introduced in India. The tests became
popular and many pregnant women took these tests and underwent abortions if it were a girl. At
that time some feminists and women’s organizations raised an uproar about it and staged protests
carrying posters that read,
“Don’t the female children have a right to live?”
“Girls are also human beings”
“Who gave birth to males?” and such.
We watched them with curiosity.
If I see any of them again I want to ask, “Hey, you folks! Do you know that there is a covert
operation in place now to eliminate female gene systematically, snuff out the cell even before it
takes the form of a female fetus? There is no bloodshed, no physical pain, and no heartaches. Are
you aware of that? Do you care? What are you going to do now? Are you going to start another
protest against this practice?”
But then what is the point? How many of them are just like Naveena?
ÀÀÀ
[1] According to mythology, in ancient times, the kings would perform a ritual called ‘putra
kameshti’ that was supposed to grant their wish to bear a male progeny to continue family lineage.
The term ‘putrika kameshti’ wishing for a female child is made up to make a point.